What I’ve learnt now could have saved me many months of heartbreak.
But you know the thing about lessons. They come to you when the time is right. You must be receptive and the idea must also manifest itself powerfully enough for it to embed itself in our sub-conscious being.
Here are some ways to effectively stop worrying about how others perceive you.
1. Learn something new
Instead of spending time on wondering why people are ignoring you or possibly thinking unkind things about you, take the time and invest it somewhere else.
Pick up a new hobby. Work on adding a new skill to your existing skill set. For me, that was Pinterest. Seems frivolous? But it isn’t. It gave me a way to spend precious energy on something creative.
Focused work on something that you enjoy does two things :Keeps you engaged and leaves little to no time to wonder about things that don’t matter.
2. Stay off social media
If the people whose opinion you worry about are on certain social media platforms, it helps to take a break from said platforms. At least briefly.
Seeing them day in and day out, expressing ideas that may or may not be directed at you, is not going to help with your state of mind.
Disengage from the virtual world and direct the energy elsewhere.
3. Count your blessings
I mean, literally. Count them. In a diary.
At the end of the day list the number of people in your life who love you, cherish you, want to be with you.
Now, against each of those names, put a mental checkmark of those who don’t want anything to do with you.
How does it stack up? Your blessings are usually more than you think possible. Look at this list daily. Feel better.
4. You cannot change someone
Let’s assume for a minute that there are people who dislike you and they are speaking ill of you.
Can you actually stop them? No.
Can you speak to them and find out why they are talking this way? Again, no. They’d probably deny it anyway.
Should it worry you? It shouldn’t, because, what they think or say need not be your truth.
Your truth is what you believe of yourself. That’s what matters. If something hurts you, change the perspective.
5. Accept that people may be hurting
Sometimes we hurt people, either deliberately or by omission. If they tell us about it, that’s great! We can try and fix it.
If they don’t, honestly, there is nothing you can do about it.
Be empathetic. Give them space. Understand that sometimes, people act out of anger and a sense of being wronged.
If it is meant to be, you will reunite with them later. If not, cherish the good memories and let the rest go.
6. Remember how long you have left
Every day, we inch closer to our inevitable death. This is the reality.
No sugar coating.
Do you really want to waste precious minutes of your days wondering why people behave the way they do or what they think of you?
In those same minutes, you can read a book, learn a skill, laugh with a loved one and fill your life with incredible moments of joy.
So, tell me. Do you still care what other people think of you?
It’s not worth it. Not one second of it.